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| "Good" Cookie. |
My perspective on my addiction has changed dramatically in the last few months, as I came to terms with the actual amount of sugary goodness that I consumed in an average day in my "previous life." I did not eat birthday cake on a regular basis, nor did I keep cookie dough in a mini-fridge near the foot of my bed. But I ate fresh fruit regularly (healthy, right?) and I would indulge on the occasional pastry or slice of dessert. I rarely drank drinks loaded with un-godly amounts of ooey-gooey syrups, and I rarely ate condensed sugars in the form of candy bars and bags of sweet-n-sour delights. I never considered myself a sugar addict. I definitely did not over-indulge. I definitely did not NEED it. I just did not see a need for me to reduce the amount of sugar that I was consuming, because it was not a problem.
Everything changed when I responded to a challenge to live my life with full awareness of what I was putting into my body (good fuel? bad fuel? stuff-that-will-get-me-through-the-day-but-I-won't-thrive fuel?) and how I felt as a consequence. Everyone has a food weakness - too little of a good thing, too much of a bad thing. Outside observers remarked that my weakness might be sugar - this was said gently by my significant other from across the table while I was noming on a cream cheese danish and a glass of fresh-squeezed juice, I admit that there were daggers in my eyes. I was advised to take an account for how much glucose, fructose, and other -oses I was consuming and how these ooey-gooey delicacies were affecting my mood, mental acuity, bodily function, body composition, sleep patterns, etc.
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| Bad Cookie. |
But, like any good moral-ed story, I found that the pain period, while painful (obviously!), was necessary. I admit to the moments when I would curse at my empty freezer (no ice cream??), the pastry counter, and the dessert menu. I got close to breaking down and stuffing my face with Swedish Fish, Chocolate-covered Pretzels, and baklava. But I didn't. Good gracious, there were moments when I wanted nothing more than to jump the counter at the local coffee shop and ... I will not finish that thought. But I didn't. Instead, I suffered: suffered the cravings, suffered the anger that followed the cravings, and suffered the shame following the anger.
I also "suffered" from better moods & less mood swings; my chronic headaches and migraines stopped; I had greater mental acuity, slept better, looked better and just overall felt good. Really good. Because the good consequences far outweighed the constant sugar cravings, I wanted to keep it up - so I continued my sugar-free crusade and battled my cravings.
After about two months of crusading, I came across the terrible news that I needed to reintegrate sugar into my diet - I am training for an endurance event, and we need to have sugar supplements on our person to consume during the races. Overcome with panic, I reeled at the thought of having to find a way to reintroduce sugar without opening the floodgates to my old friends (double-fudge brownies and the crew of devilish delectables). I did some research, I worked within certain restrictions (unprocessed, natural foods) and I got creative. I broke out my food processor and tried lots of things. Some recipes were disastrous. Some were decent. Some had potential. And then one, one was superb!
I introduced the Loco Cocoa Mighty Bite! to my family and friends, then my teammates, and now to anyone who wants to try. And, so far, I haven't had a taste-tester who did not like them.
So, with some perspective and distance from the baklava that is currently staring at me from behind the pastry counter at a local coffee shop in Davis, CA - I can tell you what I learned as a recovering sugar-monster. When you crave baklava, and NEED bakalva, do the sensible thing: think natural, think unprocessed, think good fuel. And get creative! You never know when you might make something that is better than a cookie.
stay tuned! stay healthy! rawr!
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